Part of a story I am sort-of writing. Lily is a slave/child-soldier and so is Captain, technically, and they work for a company of soldiers in an uncharted world-type thing. Captain is 16 and basically a soldier in training, he does a lot of their dirty work when it comes to other slaves. Lily is 12-ish and has unfortunately caught the attention of Captain, who likes to pay her visits at night. Lily tried the "keep-your-head-down-and-don't-bathe" approach, but, after fighting on the battlefield against escaped slaves, decided she would at least try to fight back. These are examples of that interaction. Oh yeah, so this stuff is rated Teen-ish because of unpleasantness. Just in case that could be an issue..


( At first, Captain was angry... )


( They both went in broken and they came out broken-er. )

Also, do you write chronologically in your story, or jump around? I can't seem to write "in a straight line," but that leaves me with a bunch of scenes and a really shaky timeline. Do you usually have the whole story planned out when you start, or just run with it?

I haven't been on in a few days, since I've been really busy. To anyone who has been keeping up with Remember Me go to my profile, and read the new update to it. It's now being posted in chapters by theeee way. & i hope you enjoy the new part!!! http://misskaywrites.livejournal.com/

Hello! :D

I have a little story I wanted to post. And I thought I'd quite like to get some constructive critism on it. :) I've done a little header below... I wasn't sure whether it's needed but I thought I'd do it just in case. It's also posted on my journal so if someone would rather read it on there then just click on my name and it'll be the first entry. :)

Title: Red Eyes
Summary: When Tristan is taken from his home he's haunted by the message his father gave, and yearns to see whether his sister has survived the attack of his village. He is found by Lei and learns magic isn't nessisarily bad. Especially when you realise it's you're destiny.
Genre: Fantasy/Supernatural
Warnings: A very brief amount of...sexual content? And mild violence
Rating: PG

Thanks

Lucy

( Story here! )

I'm looking for reviews for my children's picture book. Positive ones, I hope, but feedback is good even if it's negative.

If you can give me a positive review I'll post it on my website with a link to your website, JacketFlap profile, Sales Page, or whatever you prefer.

If you have a children's book of your own, I'd also be willing to swap reviews. I won't lie, though. If I don't think your book is good, I won't give you a good review. But I'll be happy to take a look at it.

A full preview is available at my website here:
http://www.illustratedbykarenjones.com/index.php?id=81

You can post your feedback here or contact me through the form on my website. I'm hoping to have the book up through CreateSpace by the end of the month. Please review it as you would any professional quality work. I don't want you making allowances because it's self-published. If it's not professional enough, I want to know that. Please be specific if you are noting problems.

Thank you very much.
Karen Jones
Author and Illustrator of The Squishy, Stinky Diaper

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

Xavier Capelle was hated by his mother from the very moment of his birth, no questions asked. He had multiple tutors and caretakers who tried to show compassion but were rejected. When he reached the age of 12, his mother claimed that she was "sick of seeing his face" and sent him to a boarding school. After some years Xavier decides that it's time to take control of his own life; he runs away from the school with some difficulty and returns home rather to his mother's dismay. After some examining Xavier finds out that he only has an indefinite time to live. While letting this sink in, three people arrive: Miss Rosette-Elisabeth Théry, Miss Anne-Elisabeth Théry and their tutor, Joséphine Riviere. That's when the real fun begins.... http://stories.mibba.com/read/226115/The-Darkest-World/

Hello everyone,

I'm here again to ask for constructive criticisms and suggestions on how to improve my writing. I'm slowly getting back in the track of writing so all of these are only drabbles.

Thank you.


Word Count: 247 words
Prompt: twitter.com/writingprompt; just warm enough
A/N: Third of my entitled series under the same universe.

1. Prompt: Damp grass
2. Prompt: Guilty pleasure

3. Just warm enough

Just taking a wee shot in the dark. I'm looking to become a great writer, and I need advice, suggestions, and tips from strangers rather than close friends due to the fact that I know they sugar-coat things. Anyway, it's dark humor and it's about a depressed man who see's his dead wife and decides to pursue her.

'The Seven Stages of Grief'

taste_buds
Holidays provide a built-in excuse for indulgent entertaining. This all-purpose foodie community covers everything from homemade hangover cures to dinner party menus. Need quick advice? Get five-minute snack suggestions, low-fat ingredient substitutes, and even measurement conversions. Delicious recipes garnished with humorous advice. Yum.

naturesbeauty
Always on the lookout for compelling images, we were delighted to discover this flourishing community of artists who share a love of nature. Honoring the subject with photographs, paintings, sketches, prose, poetry, and other creative works, you'll be simultaneously riveted to your monitor and inspired to run helter skelter towards the nearest wooded dale.

Hello everyone,

This is my second drabble. Concrits would be appreciated. Thank you.

Word Count: 114 words
Prompt: prompt_of_day #963 Guilty pleasure
A/N: A sequel to my first drabble, but it is in no particular order.

1. Prompt: Damp grass

2. Prompt: Guilty pleasure

Brand new update to Remember Me.
This is a long one, but I hope you enjoy it.

http://misskaywrites.livejournal.com/

-kay.<3

Thanks to everyone who read my first paragraph of Remember Me, it means a lot.
I read your feedback and tried to use it in my part two.
Go ahead and check out, Remember Me PART 2, on my profile!

http://misskaywrites.livejournal.com/

-kay.<3

Hello everyone,

My muse has been on vacation for nearly 3 years and I'm slowly trying to get back to writing because it's cathartic. I have written a drabble today so I hope I can get feedback about it. I know it's short but that's all my brain and motivation can produce.

Concrits would be greatly appreciated.

Word Count: 135
Prompt: twitter.com/writingprompt
A/N: Heaven help me if I can at least post a drabble a day.

Drabble here

Well;
Hello,
I'm Kay. I just recently made one of these accounts, just to share my writing. I'm kind of confused on this whole thing, but whatever I'll figure it out.

ANYWAYS. I have ONE paragraph posted on my little journal profile, and I'd appreciate it if you would take a look, tell me what you think, and if you'd like me to continue it. The paragraph is a fictional story I wrote and finished a few months ago called, "Remember Me."

I don't care how tough your criticism is, just give it to me.

-kay.<3

http://misskaywrites.livejournal.com/

I just put up a preview of my book The Squishy, Stinky Diaper. If you're interested in children's books, please take a look and give me some feedback. Thank you. https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1062972

backpacking
Want to embrace your wanderlust on the cheap? If you're tall on adventurous spirit, but short on funds, this community can help you plan a trip to anywhere. Offering plentiful tips on how to travel light, you can post about bargain hotels and hostels if you're into urban exploration or discuss camping gear and mosquito netting for the great outdoors. Hitch your backpack, pitch your tent, and carpe diem!

I originally wrote this piece as an entry for a contest, but I just want some feedback
on it, and maybe I will continue on with it. Just tell me what you think.

( pilot )

Woah?!?
I am sorry to all the readers for my...what seems to be two month absence from posting anything new on Diane the Dead.
With Finals, School,and life happening I seem to have left the story at a stand still.
But I will say this, a new section will be headed your way before the end of the month, and if everything goes well you may see the whole first chapter of Diane the Dead in a magazine of some sort near you?!?! ( of course that is the wishful hoping for the upcoming new year)
As of now I am working on Silver Promises which is a short story about James Luna , who is one of the main characters in Diane the Dead.
Silver Promise Part 1 will be available to read in two weeks.
Thank you all for reading and I hope to have your continued support!
~Vero